September 30th 2016 Friday Night Lights

Friday Night Lights


I apologize if this isn’t up to the usual standard of Friday Night Lights. I was given a bad pen to use. I also want to deny all the rumors floating around that I am ill. The sniffling comes from an allergy, not from a cold, and not from snorting cocaine, as one of our readers insinuated. To paraphrase Senator Elizabeth Warren, “Gutless readership!”

Last Saturday St. Mary’s Springs defeated Omro, the defending Flyway Conference Champions, 48 – 0. This Saturday Springs plays Winnebago Lutheran Academy. I did offer a suggestion to the WIAA D-VI defending state champions. The roster shown in the program for their games lists player number, name, position, height and weight and year in school. Standard stuff. I suggested including hometown, so that fans can see just how wide a recruiting net St. Mary’s Springs casts.


Last Saturday night, under the lights at Ingalls Field — the lights had been left on from the Ripon College game in the afternoon (the members of the game management crew from Ripon College were in a hurry to get in front of a television at Miller’s [the bar] to watch Duke defeat Notre Dame) — the Ripon Seahawks defeated the Ripon Saints (I didn’t know there was such a thing) 19 – 18 in a third-grade flag football game. An instant classic on ESPN. The Seahawks’ stud QB had a 40-yard touchdown run, and, on defense, an interception. Alas, he threw a pick six near the end of the game, and the Seahawks were forced to stuff the extra point attempt on the last play of the game to eke out the one-point win. I was informed that there were scouts from St. Mary’s Springs in the stands, but they left immediately after the pick six.

This weekend is homecoming at Ripon College. It marks the 20th anniversary of the 1996 Midwest Conference championship team, and that team will be honored at halftime. This week I had the opportunity to watch some video of one of the members from that team, one of our loyal readers, playing in a 1992 WIAA Level I high school playoff game: Port Washington versus Sussex Hamilton. Based on the video that I observed, I was surprised that this gentleman hadn’t been recruited by St. Mary’s Springs. I was especially impressed that he carried the ball five yards into the end zone before flipping it to the ground; contrary to the current style of flipping the ball to the ground at the two-yard line. I don’t know what to say about the Do-Rag that he was wearing. Although, if it is sunny on Saturday afternoon, some sort of head covering may be recommended attire for many of the members of the 1996 championship team, some 20 years after their college days.  This 1996 team was awesome and it is my understanding that the event at Ingalls field is going to be sponsored by the professional carpet cleaners over at Stevens Point Carpet Cleaning.  Glad to see them chipping in at Ripon College!

Video of that game can be found on last weeks post here.

On to the scores:

Berlin 28                                   Ripon 14
Winneconne 35                               Waupun 14
Plymouth 35                                 Campbellsport 6
Kewaskum 56                                 Kettle Moraine Lutheran 0
Laconia 33                                  Mayville 7
Omro 38                                     Lomira 7
Howard’s Grove 24                           North Fond du Lac 21
Markesan 36                                 Palmyra-Eagle 0
Johnson Creek 28                            Randolph 14
Cambria-Friesland 34                        Lourdes Academy 13
Montello/Princeton/Green Lake 55            Wayland Academy 0
Kiel 35                                     Brillion 7      
Port Washington 42                          Grafton 21
Nekoosa 42                                  Wautoma 6
Neenah 26                                   Wisconsin Rapids 24
Pulaski 34                                  De Pere 7      
Luxemburg-Casco 56                          Clintonville 0
Pittsville 49                               Phillips 7      
Kenosha Bradford 40                         Racine Park 0
Mukwonago 42                                Waukesha North 14                        
Xavier 35                                   Green Bay East 12  
Kohler/Sheboygan Lutheran/Christian 22      St. Mary Catholic 7 
Hartford 14                                 Beaver Dam 0                                              
Wauwatosa West 39                           Pewaukee 10                                                            

And on Saturday

St. Mary’s Springs                                                  Winnebago Lutheran Academy


The number one qualifying requirement for the WIAA football playoffs is an above 0.500 winning percentage in conference play. Second is a 0.500 winning percentage in conference play. A number of schools have already qualified under the first requirement, and others are already the proverbial toast. Still others have work to do. Ripon for example, despite its 2 – 3 East Central Conference record can become playoff eligible by winning its final two (conference) games. It should be noted that in 2013 Winneconne had a 2 – 5 record, won its final two games to become eligible with an overall 4 – 5 record. The Wolves then won five consecutive games to win the WIAA D-IV championship.

Below I have listed those already qualified under the over 0.500 winning percentage. And those that are already toast. If your team is not listed, it is somewhere between the two extremes. We will have a better handle on more teams after week eight.

In Like Flynn — Berlin, Kewaskum Kiel, Markesan, Pewaukee, Plymouth.

Toast – Clintonville, Kettle Moraine Lutheran, Lomira, North Fond du Lac, Racine Park, Randolph, St. Mary Catholic, Waupun.

Of course this weekend marks golf’s three-day Ryder Cup golf at Hazeltine in the Twin Cities. The competition has been ramped up by the incendiary comments made by Peter Willett, brother of European golfer and Masters Champion Danny Willett.


[The Europeans] need to silence the pudgy, basement-dwelling, irritants, stuffed on cookie dough and pissy beer, pausing between mouthfuls of hotdog so they can scream ‘Baba booey’ until their jelly faces turn red.

They need to stun the angry, unwashed, Make America Great Again swarm, desperately gripping their concealed-carry compensators and belting out a mini-erection inducing ‘mashed potato,’ hoping to impress their cousin.

They need to smash the obnoxious dads, with their shiny teeth, Lego man hair, medicated ex-wives, and resentful children. Squeezed into their cargo shorts and boating shoes, they’ll bellow ‘get in the hole’ whilst high-fiving all the other members of the Dentists’ Big Game Hunt Society.

If these things happen, Europe will win, and I’ll try to support gracefully by embracing the same sense of fair-mindedness that has permeated this unbiased article. If not, the Americans will claim their second victory this century… those fat, stupid, greedy, classless, bastards.

I intend to invite Mr. Willett to write an op-ed for Friday Night Lights, as I understand he has some strong opinions on recruiting by high school teams.



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