September 23rd 2016 Friday Night Lights

Congratulations to the Port Washington Pirates on being named team of the week in week #5. Check the scores in Friday Night Lights to see if the Pirates won in Week  #6


The Port Washington Pirates have been selected as the Week #5 U.S. Army Team of the Week following a statewide vote on WSN. The Pirates took down Cedarburg, giving them a solid shot at playoffs for the first time since 2008. The Pirates have not made the playoffs since 2008, when a junior quarterback named Josh Gasser led the team to Level 3. In order to end the streak, the team knew it would have to get by one of the North Shore’s big four programs, and Friday night it finally happened. The Pirates blew open a close game with four straight touchdowns in the second and third quarters to win 55-34 over Cedarburg.

Josh Gasser? At least it didn’t extend all the way back to one of our readers, 1992 season!

I was afraid that I wouldn’t be able to get this week’s edition of Friday Night Lights out. I have my right hand and wrist wrapped in an ace bandage and splint, like Wells Fargo CEO John Stumpf when testifying before the Senate Banking Committee on Tuesday, and typing is very difficult for me; even without the splint. So the question is, how did I hurt my hand?

  • Roughhousing with my grandchildren, which is how Mr. Stumpf claimed that he hurt his hand.
  • I slammed my hand in a door through which I was attempting to steal candy from a baby. The Huffington Post asserted that this is how Mr. Stumpf injured his hand.

Personally, I suspect that either Mr. Stumpf injured his hand by punching a wall when he heard he was going to be questioned by Elizabeth Warren, known as Pocahontas by my man The Donald. Or, Mr. Stumpf hadn’t injured his hand at all, but his PR firm had him wear the bandage and splint in hopes of garnering some sympathy for the poor man’s plight. I hope he didn’t hire Ari Fleischer’s PR firm; but as poorly prepared as Mr. Stumpf appeared to be, perhaps that is whom he hired.

But I digress; we had a number of great football related stories this week, so let’s get to them.

During the Ripon Rotary board meeting Monday morning the club president’s cellphone started to ring. I had to inform the board members that the song being played was ‘Boomer Sooner’, which I had not heard being played Saturday night during the Ohio State – Oklahoma football game. Saturday night it was ‘The Buckeye Battle Cry’ ad nauseam.

A Michigan fan called the Paul Feinbaum Show on the SEC Network, and the two gentlemen got in an argument over the coaching abilities, and credit received, of Nick Saban and Jim Harbaugh; coaches of Alabama and Michigan respectively. After the caller hung up, Mr. Feinbaum continued ranting (that is why it is better to be the callee, rather than the caller), and said of Michigan fans, “Is there a more pathetic fan base in America than the University of Michigan? What a whiny and sniveling bunch.” Sniveling?

So I fired off an email to my good Michigan friend, Little Blue (he calls me Red), in Grand Haven, MI on the eastern shore of what we like to call Lake Wisconsin to get his take on Mr. Feinbaum’s comments.

“He’s a bald headed short little weasel…only the bumpkins and goobers down South listen to him…” Goobers?

And then we had video surfacing of Pat Hobbs, the athletic director at Rutgers (The State University of New Jersey) having a beer last Saturday at a pregame tailgate party. A tailgate party that the university had arranged for students. Students drinking beer before a football game? I am shocked. Hours after the video was released, Mr. Hobbs apologized for his actions, telling NJ Advance Media that he was trying to control the atmosphere of the tailgate party, which was getting a little out of hand. Nothing like a beer or two to get things under control. Alas, the university has cancelled the tailgate parties going forward.

But how about some actual football? After the first touchdown that Stanford scored against USC last Saturday, the Trojans defended the PAT attempt with eight players on the field. I believe that one of our readers has a daughter who has a degree from USC; an engineering degree in fact. Eight players? USC better get that corrected by November 5th when the Oregon Ducks come to LA to play the Trojans, as the Ducks always go for two points after a touchdown; a ploy that drives Gerry DiNardo (former All-American at Notre Dame) of the Big Ten Network bonkers. Last weekend the Ducks were successful on their first two-point attempt against Nebraska, and then misfired on their next four attempts. I believe that the Ducks lost by three.

NOTE: The Ripon College Red Hawks failed to successfully convert any PATs in their first game this year, despite scoring five TDs. And in 2015 the Ripon Tigers were 0 – 9; for the season. Why Pascal Rinnert once kicked nine PATs for the Tigers – in one game.

I think I have discovered the reason for the strategy that the Ducks employ. Despite the hundreds of millions of dollars that Phil Knight of Nike has given to the athletic department at the University of Oregon, Nike has been unable to develop a kicking shoe that will fit over the Ducks’ webbed feet. Hence they have to go for two. Note that Oregon’s uniforms this week are designed to look like the Ducks’ mascot.

And then we have the Ripon third grade game; the play call was a reverse, unfortunately, the running back got his feet tangled with the quarterback’s feet, and managed to disentangle himself just in time to run straight into the wide receiver coming the other direction to take the handoff on the reverse. Not likely to make Sport Center’s Top Ten Plays of the Day.

I am not aware whether or not any of Friday night’s games will make the Top Ten. If I were a wagering man ….

Ripon 31                                                                    Waupun 6
Tigers need to win two of last three to become playoff eligible

Plymouth 34                                                             Winneconne 7
Campbellsport 28                                                   Kettle Moraine Lutheran 0
Berlin 17                                                                   Kewaskum 14
Oostburg 16                                                             Mayville 7                
Laconia 18                                                                Winnebago Lutheran Academy 10           
Lomira 35                                                                 North Fond du Lac 7
Markesan 14                                                            Horicon/Hustisford 0
Lourdes Academy 34                                             Randolph 8
Pardeeville 9                                                                        Montello/Princeton/Green Lake 7               
Kiel 42                                                                       Manitowoc Roncalli 6
Homestead 29                                                          Port Washington 7                          
“For over a thousand years, Roman conquerors returning from the wars enjoyed the honor of triumph, a tumultuous parade. In the procession came trumpeteers, musicians and strange animals from conquered territories, together with carts laden with treasure and captured armaments. The conquerors rode in a triumphal chariot, the dazed prisoners walking in chains before him. Sometimes his children robed in white stood with him in the chariot or rode the trace horses. A slave stood behind the conqueror holding a golden crown and whispering in his ear a warning: that all glory is fleeting.”

  • General George S. Patton Jr.

Wautoma 49                                                            Westfield 12                                                
Wisconsin Rapids 41                                              Stevens Point 35
SPASH’s first loss in conference play.

Bayport 29                                                               Pulaski 22     
Oconto Falls 39                                                        Clintonville 0
Both teams were winless in conference play going into Friday night’s game.

Auburndale 12                                                         Pittsville 8
Racine Case             52                                                       Racine Park 13
Two winless teams entering Friday night’s play.

Waukesha North 49                                               Waukesha South 15            
Fox Valley Lutheran 36                                        Xavier 8
St. Mary Catholic 39                                              Hilbert/Stockbridge 0
Beaver Dam 35                                                        West Bend West 14                                                
Pewaukee 26                                                                        New Berlin Eisenhower 24
Both were undefeated in Woodland-West entering Friday night’s game

And on Saturday

St. Mary’s Springs                                                  Omro

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